we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
