they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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