There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Randomize
