well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
