38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Success! We fucked roommates!
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