woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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