ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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