you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
