she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
