where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
