Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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