Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
