You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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