Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
