Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
