he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
