HIV tests are more positive than that guy
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am puke
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
