This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
