I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
