Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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