if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
