is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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