do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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