the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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