i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
