im having a threesome with these popsicles
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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