Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
