One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
