even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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