I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
NoShamevember. You game?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
