Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
