U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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