i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Four minutes until I can fart!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She's the barista slut.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
