Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
