coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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