someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
