last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
