Whod you bang
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
