The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
