the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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