Having a random hookup so left but love u
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
