grandma shit on top of the toilet
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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