Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
