I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
