just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
