I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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