No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
