good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I need to stop coming to work sober
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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