Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
