I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
